14 Fabulously Funny Money Quotes

“We didn’t actually overspend our budget. The allocation simply fell short of our expenditure.”
– Keith Davis

“I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need if I die by four o’clock this afternoon.”
– Henny Youngman

“Every morning I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I’m not there, I go to work.”
– Robert Orben

“Money is something you have to make in case you don’t die.”
– Max Asnas

“Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate.”
– Woody Allen

“More and more these days I find myself pondering how to reconcile my net income with my gross habits.”
– John Nelson

“The only reason I made a commercial for American Express was to pay for my American Express bill.”
– Peter Ustinov

“If there is anyone to whom I owe money, I’m prepared to forget it if they are.”
– Errol Flynn

“Money isn’t everything but it sure keeps you in touch with your children.”
– J. Paul Getty

“Don’t marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.”
– Scotts Proverb

“I finally know what distinguishes man from other beasts: financial worries.”
– Jules Renard

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
– Jackie Mason

“I’m so naive about finances. Once when my mother mentioned an amount and I realized I didn’t understand, she had to explain: ‘That’s like three Mercedes.’ Then I understood.”
– Brooke Shields

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”