Why you want to be attractive

I’ve just realised something significant:

I’m now the “old guy” that young people go to for advice.

When I posted this thought via social media last week I received a barrage of comments, most of which were positive. The feedback I received made me wonder how we can be sure to receive quality advice.

It’s my observation that too many people seek advice from the wrong source. A young couple seeking to invest into their new relationship approached me recently. They wanted to build a solid foundation for their future. Wisely, they chose to seek advice from someone who was happily married. Can you imagine the damage that would be done if they sought advice from one of their young, single friends? Speaking plainly – you can’t pick sweet peaches from a grapefruit tree.

Money is the same. When you ask a poor person for advice about money you’re likely to end up poor. I’ve helped hundreds of people who have found themselves in trouble because they took financial advice from a well-meaning friend, family member or taxi driver. There’s a well-known proverb that says, “You become most like those whom you spend your time with.” From this thought I would say, “Your finances are a result of those who you allow to speak into your circumstances.”

I regularly find myself helping others to seek the right advice from the right person. Here are some thoughts I share often.

There’s an important distinction to be made between friends and advisers. Keep the line very clear between the two.

Experience adds wisdom. Failure is not final when it becomes your teacher. Seek out those who have made choices and seen the result of those choices, both good and bad. Hindsight is a great teacher and you can benefit personally from someone else’s hindsight for a fraction of what it cost them.

Will you surround yourself with people who will tear you down or build you up? Life and death are in the power of the tongue; you’ll most certainly reap the fruit of the words you allow others to speak into your life.

Wisdom is a gift you are given to share. Like a muscle, it grows when you use it. If you have been invited to share your wisdom with someone who is inspired by you, take the request seriously and responsibly.

And finally, I find the greatest return on investment is found by spending time getting to know other people and the dreams that are within them. When I can invest myself into helping other people succeed in their passion, destiny or dreams I find my greatest fulfillment.

Why don’t you choose to become someone that is designing a purpose-filled life? When you do that you’ll become attractive so that you attract the right calibre of people who will be excited to journey with you. You’ll become a “good investment” for their time and their wisdom, someone they will be happy to sow into.

(This article was originally published in Phil’s regular column in the Waikato Times newspaper.)